Personal Board - Setting Your Table
Personal Board - Setting Your Table
Mentors: Who to fire, who to hire, who to invite to your personal advice, inspo & collab panel
Why you need to treat your career like a holiday dinner? Hire your board, evaluate often, find diversity just like companies.
For my table of mentors my criteria is: worldly, smart, motivate, kickass and kind humans even when calling me out.
Who did FIRE from my personal board? Like Survivor, you need the right personal allies. Sometimes priorities shift and you cut people from the team.
1- “ Old school advice”—As a working woman with 2 kids and endless bills and responsibilities, I’m living in the now with a dash of future goal setting. I cannot live in the old business models unless it’s a data point, referenced as an example.
One male mentor was speaking to me like it was 1999. He was my former boss (20 bosses ago) who constantly talked at me, telling ne to consider relocating (impossible anytime soon) and to decide if I’m a generalist or a specialist.
This is very old way of thinking. It’s as if he read one book on managing and never read another. We all specialize even if we do many things in a COO swim lane. We no longer speak.
2- My parents- although they gave me many great opportunities and support, parents can be sounding board but they are biased and out of touch. I love to hang with them over lobster rolls (or new holiday food tradition ) or on vacation. I do not take their work advice anymore.
3- “The wolves in sheep clothing”- - there are women and men in wellness and finance who are just not nice. Initially, these board members matched my working style. However these wolves are like the 2nd bike in the Tour de France always eyeing for the top spot, drafting off of my network. Once I did feel common ground in industry, stature or workload, fighting the same enemy at work
Now I have made other choices. They are envious and say hurtful things or ghost me with fake apologies.
The nastiness can come in both verbal or texted comments and deeply aggressive or passive aggressive actions. Regardless, it's time to remove the wolves and look for inspiring motivated people.
Now that the table is cleansed, don’t you want to know who is on my board today, notes on when we talk and our agenda?
I- “The Industry expert” —We speak in depth twice a year over lunch. We text often sharing ideas, work projects or problems and articles. I ask for specific advice about opportunities and never shoot the shit unless it’s a rare social setting. I do not waste his time with small talk — ever. I always want his opinion on trends in leadership and growth do we mash up. I know how much time we have and my personal goals. I ask for help and then how I can help him. I always buy lunch, by the way!
Examples of detailed help: Questions start with “how should I approach this”. I have this offer to consider and my idea is to reply like this …”
2 & 3-“Work wives turned friends and board member”
I have 2 women in this category. Both moms and wives over 40, who have moved around for work, traveled extensively and made bold values based choices.
Our relationship is multidimensional, ranging from mom memes to lighten our weeks to collaboration brainstorms to ideas we don’t share with anyone else. They also refer me to potential clients or ways to sell my goods and services.
We believe in each other and have seen our collective potential.
This is the board member I can text “can you talk for 15? My gut is saying this but I need your opinion. “ This is also the person(s) who I send proposals to for editing or when I was wronged in my last role, sent me to a lawyer.
4 & 5 & 6– “The Long Haulers”
I have 3 in this category all in different industries; 1 female. 2 men, All Gen X, with competing priorities at work and home, juggling, traveling, side hustles, caregiving and focus on taking very long term approaches to life and family. I’ve known all of them for 20+ years which means we’ve all cycled through stages together. They are the middle of the night calls and the worst phone tag. Calls range from family to health to how to network and negotiate. We also challenge each other the most.
They are important yet impossible to get on the phone. I rotate these interactions often.
I ask for advice that sounds like “I’m struggling with this new idea, can you help me bat this around,’ or “ I lost a client how will I fill the spot” . They often ask me for HR or Leadership insight in return. “I have an employee who or how do I set a boundary with this sales person.”
7 & beyond—“The inspiration powerplay” —
The people that stretch me who I’ve met through workshops, training and the World Wide Web. These are women owned businesses, entrepreneurs or authors. This is my own self made mastermind; seeing their name in my inbox is true admiration and elation. These women of all ages and backgrounds and ethnicities, keeping me young at heart. Supportive in every way messages look like this: Did you see this app? This free training? Why are retreats in Portugal trending? I have a publisher! Do you want an intro to them?
When I hire help- nuts and bolts of paid board seats.
/Classes to boost my knowledge—this is the lowest cost, high impact way to test if I connect with the teachers, content or if I want to do 1:1 work at any point I’m part of their ecosystem. (examples: reiki training, breathwork, reiki masters, career or business coaching, business, technology, writing, publishing, etc)
/Career, Business and Marketing Coaches- business coaches or marketing gurus have helped me along the way. I look for women I need RIGHT now or for the next 9-12 months. I only work only personal recommendations. The one time I didn’t work off of a recommendation, I got burned very badly. What I needed 5 years ago is not what I need today. I also need somewho who can handle my wall street high vibes and intelligence. This is a relationship that often changes as we outgrow each other
//My VA- This has taken me 8 people to get to the right woman. It’s important to know what you are good at and what you need help with. I need certain support when things take me all day that take someone else 60 minutes. Having managed many people over my lifetime I love having a team. It’s less than part time most months and worth it’s weight in gold.
My board never gets together all at once. maybe that’s an idea for 2025!